yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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