Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize