I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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