I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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