You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
