just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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