Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
