so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
