I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
