Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
