there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
