i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
