we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you didnt know i had herpes?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
