I want to have your abortion
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
