Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
