mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
whose parrot is this?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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