hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
