She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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