Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
