Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize