I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
