Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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