we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
