Me too!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
