i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
