Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
