remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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