We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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