There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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