Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i barfeds in our rink
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
