Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
