i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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