how can u be prego again
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
