So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
