oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
