Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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