Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she woke up with a sticky ear
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
