Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
