just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
