Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
