once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
