So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
