I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
