If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
