I think I died a long time ago.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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