after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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