well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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