drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
