Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
