I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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