dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
