i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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