R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just want nice things and good sex
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
