I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
