Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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