it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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