i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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