I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize