Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
