I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
